Tuesday, April 8, 2008


The Day You Fold

Interestingly enough this was the last song we recorded for the album and will end up being the first and title track. I'm basically pretending to have a conversation with someone (no worries it's fake person). I come across many people everyday in life who are desperately trying to figure out their own hurt and pain. They are searching for resolve, for someone to tell them "everything is going to be ok."

I guess this song is really talking about the "figuring out" we do in life. Maybe you know someone who has really been experiencing a deep unexplainable sadness. They've tried their entire life to figure things out but they never seem satisified or happy. This way of life may leave them with depression, the feeling that nothing is good enough, hurt family members, and few friends. I love that God is so compassionate towards us when we hurt. His heart really goes out to us!

I don't think God is afraid of these kind of struggles, I think He is excited to watch how we respond to them. I can't imagine how God feels when after a season struggle we find ourselves reaching for Him. Like a baby reaching up to it's Father when it needs something.

It's like the story of the lost son in the Bible who rebels from his Father and lives a life of wild partying. The son finally comes to his senses and goes home. What is the Father's reaction? The Father doesn't scold Him for wasting money or sleeping around, He runs joyfully down the road before He even gets home! What was the son basically saying? I give up. What was the Father saying "I finally get to be close to my son again!"

I have a feeling the Father spent a lot of time on that road before the Son came home. Watching. Waiting. I bet He remembers the day on the road he followed His son on the way out, pleading with Him desperately to stay. That road meant heartache for the Father, but it would later become a place of joy! Why? Because the son learned through pain that he couldn't do it on his own.

Surrender is a churchy word. I used to think surrendering meant I had to forget about bad things that had happened to me. Just get those memories out of my mind! But I had trouble resolving those feelings and emotions because sometimes I would still be hurting so deeply. Did that mean I hadn't surrendered it to God?

Later I understood more of what this meant. Surrender means I give up on the way I've tried it and then say "Father, it's your way this time." What's cool about saying that is God doesn't then scold us for a while and make us feel horrible about it. He throws a party for us because a far off son is finally home. Finally close. In that lies the meaning to me of "The Day You Fold." Thanks for "figuring it out" along with me.


Heather said...

First CONGRATS for completing this project I know that it has been a long time coming! From the song samples I heard- it's beautiful and worth the wait. Your perspective on surrender was fresh; it is not forgetting, but allowing to shape and His love to engulf us. Looking forward to hearing the whole album when I get it next week from my folks.

Congrats! Heather Eshelman
P.S. Great cello lines, so jealous that I would love to play them. I haven't played for anything since the last time I played with you for ALT before I moved. I miss it; I miss playing with you.

Trina said...

I got to know your parents a bit today while waiting in line for rides at Six Flags Over Georgia. Such delightful people! During the course of a conversation about ministry, books, music and family, your mom mentioned your music. I’m looking forward to listening more and reading your thoughts behind the songs. I’d also love to read your song lyrics sometime, since there always seems to be this shift in my brain and heart once I’ve been able to read the words that I’m hearing. (CD jackets that come without lyrics drive me crazy. ;-) When I get a new CD from my favorite artist, I’ll read while listening for the first time and only then will I really fall in love again.

Lindsey said...

I write poetry so if you every need some ideas for a song feel free to check out the poems i have posted on my blog... use with permission! :)

God bless you in this ministry!