ISSUE2.MARCH13.LIFEATSEA

LIFE AT SEA

This song was written in a real desperate time of life for me.  I was feeling the weight of ministry and life. There was a real lack of resolve for me in most everything.  I remember wondering if God's promises to me were ever going to come true.  I told my friend Ben one time "it's like my life is in constant dissonance!"  Dissonance in music is when a chord feels like it needs to resolve.  It's where the music make you uneasy.  Hard to explain with words...

People were asking a lot of me at the this time in my life.  Working at the church was draining. It's hard when you know people are a BIG deal to God but you have a difficult time loving them and listening to them.  I knew I needed to love others well, I knew I wanted to love others well, but I was just drained.  Life was dissonant. I asked God, "What about me?" "Remember me, Casey, is your promise good for everyone else but me?" I had a really difficult time processing what I was feeling let alone trying to process what other people were bringing to me for counsel and prayer.  I felt lost.  

OK OK I'll admit to you I had watched a lot of LOST (no the song "the others" is not about Lost - I wrote it before I even watched the show!) and for some reason my roommate was watching Castaway when I came home one night.  Images of people lost in the ocean, thrashing in the waves, desperate to survive were all sweeping through my mind.  I was one of those people. Life at sea is a memorial to me of this time in my life.  Truthfully, there are things in my life that still haven't resolved.  The beauty of dissonance is that it keep you searching, striving for peace, longing for God, and in those moments I turned to the one who does in fact keep His word.  He found me right when I was ready to give in.